“So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.” ―Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
There have been moments in my life that I have wished away a thousand times. I think about the times my heart hurt so badly I didn’t want to see the sun.
I think about the time I was locked out of the house for an hour, and the time I was stuck in traffic for two hours, and the time I drove all the way to Marietta to get into a club just to have to turn around and drive home because I didn’t have my ID. I think about being young and having to tag along with my parents to wherever they went, being so mind numbingly bored and wishing the day was over. I remember the time I lost my cousin. 2 uncles. 2 great grandmothers and my great grandfather. Several friends. All of my pain in my life, all of the minor and major annoyances, they had to happen exactly as they did. Everyone’s lives had to coincide with mine in exactly the manner they have in order for you to happen.
The good had to happen, too. I met your mother. I fell in love. We grew up and made a home together and we decided on you. A lot of things happened in between falling in love and having you, and it wasn’t all good. But it had to happen.
If any moment had ever been slightly altered, you wouldn’t be here. It wasn’t until you were born that I came to understand “everything happens for a reason”. You are the reason.
Some days go by where I feel so overwhelmed I can’t see straight. Then there are days like today where I look over and see you sleeping so soundly. I know that you want for nothing. You have a full belly, you’re comfortable and warm and content. And then I know that every day I do right by you is a day I should be proud.
When I was 17 I thought love was butterflies and holding hands. When I was 19 I mistook codependence for love. When I was 20 I lost love and she found her way back to me. When I was 22 I dreamed of a love I didn’t know if I’d ever have. Now at 24, love is redefined every day.
On Monday, love was the way my wife and daughter smiled at each other.
On Tuesday, love was hearing the baby laughing at her toys.
On Wednesday, love was watching Cadence enjoy her bath. Thursday, it was watching her with her grandmother. Friday, it was her falling asleep in my arms. Every day is an adventure. Every day love is brand new with you.