I want to cherish this time with you because I know you will never need me like this again. I try not to cry when you won’t stop crying. I try not to get frustrated when I have to pull my boob out for the thousandth time so you can eat for anywhere from 10-30 minutes. I try not to get annoyed with never being hands free during the day. 

And then the guilt settles in. How could I ever feel this way about the little girl who made my life complete? I know it’s natural to be overwhelmed, but I feel I don’t deserve to feel that way. Because of you I have the world. I love you more than I ever thought I could love anything. You are my new reason for living. I need to remember this when I get in my head and miss my freedom. I prayed for you for so many years and wondered what your sweet face would look like, and your sweet face is perfect. More beautiful than I could have ever fathomed. I will always be my best for you, even on the days that I don’t recognize myself. I will do right by you even when I don’t know who I am. 

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