Before you were here…

I wrote this when I was about 6 months pregnant. Reading back on it brings tears to my eyes. How can you ever begin to imagine how much you will love your baby before they’re here? As much as I loved her then, I didn’t have a clue how much I would love her now. 

To my unborn daughter…I have never loved this way. My love has evolved and turned into something bigger than myself, and it is because of you. I am amazed every day that this body of mine can create life, and I wonder what it is your life will be. I know what I will do my best to make it, but I only have so much power over who and what you become. Most of that is up to you, my love. I can only hope that I do right by you until the choices are yours. I am in awe of my love for you. I am taken aback by the extent to which my heart has grown. 

You’ve been getting stronger. I can see you moving when I look at my belly, and I feel you as soon as I wake up each morning. I’m starting to get bigger and laying down isn’t quite as comfortable anymore but somehow your movements lull me into sleep. Your arrival is much anticipated by everyone around us. Everyone is ready to meet you but I think I’m the most impatient of all. I want to enjoy and embrace this time that I have you safe inside of me, but more than anything I want to hold your hand. I want to see your face. I want to feel what it is to be your mother. You have changed my entire life just by existing and you aren’t even in my arms yet. That’s power, baby girl. I hope you always know your power. I hope you always know your strength.

I will do my best to instill in you that no matter how beautiful you are on the outside it will never surpass the beauty you have on the inside. I will tell you to be kind but do not let others take advantage of your kindness. Laugh at yourself, because you will make many mistakes, and they’re easier to deal with that way. Always remember that family is so very important. Read a book when you’re sad. Listen to a song you’ve never heard before and try to find something you love about it. Always kiss me and your other mommy goodnight. 

Cadence, I love you, my baby girl. You have saved me.

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